It's hot. it's humid. It's Houston. Berkman is a Yankee. Roy is a Philly and we have a couple of minor league guys just waiting to get a starting job. J.A. Happ will fill the gap for the rest of the season but will by no means be a true Astro. You have to have a do something spectacular to be loved so quickly in this town.

Off the top of your head, Can you tell me the short stop for the Astros in the summer of 2005? it was Adam Everett. Now if i say "Who was playing first base, second base, or catcher?" We all know who those guys, and what sucks about it, we still have that hang over. These two trades are the wake up call that we needed. All we need is a good breakfast to get us started.

With any hang over, the best way to go about it is with a lot of water and a fatty yet nutrious breakfast. We have our water. Hunter Pence and Michael Bourn are the cool refreshing drink that Astros fans have been band-wagoning on for the past two seasons, only if we could get rid of that damn head ache known as Carlos Lee.

The good part of the hang over is the scrambled eggs, sausage links, bacon strips, pancakes or waffles, and the strong cup of coffee to get you going. Chris Johnson is our scrambled eggs. He is the first "rookie" that we look at with high batting numbers and will flash the leather because he has been there. He acts like he has been there before, he's a staple. The sausage links are the shorts stops, Sanchez and Manzella. Sanchez has been playing above what we would expect, but there is a reason why Tommy Manzella was our starting 6. Manzella flashes the leather and has been listening to Bagwell while in the minor leagues. We all love Bags for the home runs but we forget how great of a situational hitter he was and that is why Tommy should be Jeff's shadow while on the DL. Ah, Bacon. Brett Wallace didn't get a hit in his first major league start but is a blue ribbon player. He looked so nervous in his AB's that he might as well been hitting aspirin with a broomstick. Let's face it. Playing first base for the Houston Astros means you have pretty big shoes to fill. Pancakes. I love me some pancakes. Our bench is that part of the team you look forward to towards the end of the game. JMike rips the ball from the right side and Blummer rips it from the left, either way the opposing team has to waste a pitcher in their bull pen. The Jolt is Jason Bourgeois. He can run down a fly ball in left (where he should be starting). He can steal bases like a frat boy with ruffies, and probably has the stones to do a straight steal of home. He is the shock that the Houston loyal need to get our ears perking again.

I didn't have anyone proof read this so correct my mistake and comment/bitch at me on twitter. @brentjwallace